Single and Not Ready to Mingle?
.
.
I have never really been someone who is super into all the lovey dovey
couple stuff. I enjoy having the freedom to do whatever I want, PDA is not
my favorite thing, going out on dates stresses me out (you mean I have to
actually talk to another human being? Please, I would rather stay home in my
sweats and read or watch TikToks. lol), oh and meeting families? Well, that is just
straight up terrifying. If I am being honest, there really isn’t much about dating that
appeals to me aside from maybe the companionship, because unfortunately I, like
everyone else, am not completely immune to loneliness. However, my last relationship
taught me that being single might be exactly what I need to be for a while. So instead of
dreading this time, I am embracing it. I believe being single at this time in my life is going
to be one of the best decisions I have made and while I know that it won’t always be easy
I am ready for it. Being single isn’t a bad thing or a curse, but instead, maybe it is a blessing.
So whether you hate being single or are like me and are ready to embrace it, keep reading for
some things I think all us single pringles need to know.
.
First, I just want to make a few statements that I feel like many singles may need to hear.
.
You ARE NOT single because you are not good enough.
You ARE NOT single because there is something wrong with you.
You ARE NOT single because you are unlovable.
.
One thing I have noticed when being single is that you have a lot more time alone to
think, which could be both a good or a bad thing. It is good because it gives you
time to reflect and grow, but also bad because it gives you time to reflect on past
relationships. All the highs and lows, the things you should have and could have
done better, and eventually as the loneliness creeps in it will have you thinking
everything that went wrong in those relationships was because of you. It wasn’t.
Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be and no matter what you would have done
nothing would have changed the outcome. So stop thinking there is something wrong
with you and see yourself for the prize you really are.
.
It Won’t Always Be This Way
When you are single for a long time, or continue to experience heartbreak
after heartbreak, it is easy to think that dating is just not something in the
cards for you and you convince yourself that you are destined to be alone forever.
.
.
You begin to picture your life as the kooky aunt at family functions or the
crazy cat lady. Trust me I have been there! (Actually, if I’m being honest, I’m there now! Is
10 cats too many? I mean, then again, is there really such a thing as too many cats? lol)
However, as I keep hearing from my friends and family, it won’t always be this way.
As hopeless as things may seem now there are plenty of fish in the sea and I guarantee
there is someone out there who is for you! Someone who will show you the real love and
appreciation you deserve and make you realize why nothing ever worked out with anyone
else. Don’t give up hope! God has a plan for you and your other half will find
you (most likely when you least expect it).
.
Oh the Pressure
.
There is so much pressure put on relationships these days. It seems like
all of society got together and silently decided that if you aren’t married with
kids by a certain age then you are going to die miserable and alone. I mean
if that doesn’t stress you out when it comes to dating I don’t know what will!
However, I am here to tell you that you do NOT need those things in order to
be happy in life and not having those things doesn't mean you are any less
of a woman. In fact, unless you are truly happy with yourself being married and
having kids isn’t going to make any difference. I have seen a lot of people settle
because they buckled under the societal pressure or decided getting married
and having kids would solve all their relationship problems, and now instead they
find themselves in unhappy marriages and overly stressed by familial responsibilities
wishing they could go back. Don’t let society tell you what you need to be
happy. Only you know what that is.
.
Don’t Let the Pressure Change What You Want
Now, if you are like me and you aren’t sure if you want to get married and
KNOW that you don’t want to have kids then THAT IS OKAY. Let me say
that again for the people in the back. NOT WANTING TO HAVE KIDS OR WANTING
TO GET MARRIED IS OKAY! It floors me how taboo not wanting kids has
become in our society. Anytime I say I don’t want to have kids everyone’s
response is always the same, “Oh you will change your mind one day. Just
wait till you meet the right person.” Oh it just makes my blood
boil! Sure I might not know exactly what I want out of life, but one
thing I know for sure, as a 25 year old fully
grown adult woman, is that I DO NOT EVER WANT KIDS. There has never
been a time in my life where I have wanted to have kids and I can promise you
that my mind on that is never going to change. And you know what? That is
1000% okay. So if not wanting kids or even marriage is causing problems for
you in relationships, it just simply means you haven’t found the right person yet.
Stay true to what you want and the right person will come along.
.
.
Use Being Single as a Way to Improve Yourself
.
Too many times people see being single as a negative thing, something
that they themselves did wrong. However, being single can really be a
blessing in disguise. Being single allows you to find out who you truly are
as a person. It teaches you how to love yourself. In my past relationships I
have put sooo much stock into what my SO thinks about me. So much so
that if anything negative was said I would find myself in a depressed state for days. (In fact, there are still some things I haven’t been able to let go of.)
However, now that I am single, I don’t have anyone to hype me up so I am forced
to become that person for myself. Affirmations are key. I am healthy, I am
wealthy, I am a boss….or however the song goes. lol
.
Being single also allows you to figure out exactly what it is you are looking
for in a relationship. No more settling! When you find yourself comfortable
with being single it is so much easier for you to know what you deserve and
you won’t waste your time tolerating anything less than the best.
.
.
Leave the Running for the Gym
.
Sometimes when you are single and lonely you may feel the need to
try and make anything, just anything at all, happen for you so you chase
and you chase and you chase until either your legs give out or you finally
break down the willpower of the one you are pursuing. But as Cher once
said, “It’s better to just go on your own way and wait for Mr. Right then try
to make Mr. Idiot Mr. Right” cause honey if you have to chase him to date you
he isn’t interested which means he doesn’t even know what a great prize you
are. You know how I said there are a lot of fish in the sea? Yeah well there is a
lot of trash too so don’t go wasting your tears and time on the garbage.
.
Reach Out - Don’t Be Afraid to Talk
.
You might not have a romantic partner in your life, but remember that
you are not alone! You have other people, including your friends and
family, that are there for you, care for you, and love you. If you are ever
feeling sad and lonely you can always reach out to them and they will be
there to listen, hang out, and offer support in any ways that they can! Oh
and you know what is great about these people? You never have to pretend
like everything is hunky dory all the time. You can be as vulnerable as you
want with them and they will never judge you. How does the saying go?
Friends are therapists you can drink wine with.
.
.
Whether you are single by choice or because the universe has decided it
for you I hope this article helps you make it through your singlehood.
Being okay with being alone is an amazing skill to have and one that will
prove to be only beneficial to you in future relationships so make the most
of this time! Let me know your thoughts in the comments and enjoy
your independence!
.
.
.